Joan Louise (Helmer) Sclafani

Joan Louise Helmer Sclafani died peacefully on Saturday, February 1, 2025 at her home at The Cypress on Hilton Head Island, SC. She brought a sparkling light into the lives of so many, with her generous nature arid smile for everyone.

She was born in Poughkeepsie, NY in 1929, the third child and second daughter of William and Edna Helmer. After the death of her mother when she was four, she was raised by her Aunt and Uncle Caroline and Bill Ingold in New Jersey, returning to NY and graduating from F.D. Roosevelt High School in Hyde Park. After graduation, Joan lived with her Aunt Carrie and worked as a secretary. Her first marriage to Paul Hertenstein gave her the opportunity to travel internationally, exploring the museums and cultures of her dreams; she lived in Singapore for several years before the marriage ended.

Joan then became a student, pursuing classical studies at Hunter College, graduating with honors. After graduation, she left her beloved Manhattan and moved to Poughkeepsie, working in finance with Prudential Securities. There she met the love of her life, Anthony "Red" Sclafani, and the two were married in 1989.

Together they entered the new world of retirement, living in Connecticut, then Marco Island, FL, and Bluffton, SC before settling at The Cypress on Hilton Head Island. The many visits to and from family members were highlights of their years together. When at home, while Red was playing golf, Joan was sharing her opinions through letters to the editor in local newspapers and writing the stories of her life.

Joan was predeceased by her beloved Red in 2021, her parents, sisters, Mary Podolak and Rita Donnelly, brother, Jack Helmer, and step-sister, Joyce Seeley. She is survived by her step-children, Jean Rogienski (Alan), Raymond Sclafani, their children and grandchildren, who had become cherished members of Joan's family, and a legion of nieces, nephews, grandnieces, and grandnephews, with whom she kept in regular and loving touch. They will all so miss those phone calls and her spirit. With her curiosity, incisive mind, sharp wit, deep compassion, and lifelong love of the arts, spending any time with her was a chance to explore new worlds.

Go in peace, Joan. We all loved you so very much.